God's Got Us in His Pocket

 When she was just a baby and still let me kiss her.

The absolute opposite of me?  My youngest Sister, Bekah.  We are not just kinda different, we are opposite.  I am a rule follower, and she marches to the beat of her own drum.  I like J. Crew, she only wears concert t-shirts.  I’m super uptight, she’s super not.  Differences make life colorful though, don’t they?

[They do.]

I’m excited for you to meet her, as she shares her own kernels of wisdom learned through her experience of growing up without a Mom.  While I was 10 when Mom died, Bekah was only 2.  When she sent me her original submission for the series about grief that my sisters and I are putting together, emotions it lacked not.  It was painted with sadness and anger and it was the kind that was fresh, not frozen.  

Mom and Bekah

In true 20-something, oldest-Sister-of-a-teenager fashion, my original thought was: “grumble grumble teenage dramatics.”  I had to chew on it for a while because I knew that would not be a great way to respond to someone’s heart on the table.  From her story, I realized while I got to know my Mom slightly better, got to see both her at her real Mommy best and real Mommy worst, and therefore had more to miss-- my youngest Sister doesn’t even know what to miss, because she can’t possibly have a memory of her.  

In the 15 years and 3 days since my Mom died I have never really considered how hard that would be… to miss something you never knew enough to miss.  To not even know how beautiful the beautiful things were, or to have memories of the ugly real life stuff to bring you back to reality.  Man, that must be tough.  

The undeniable truth about Bekah is that she, too, is really really tough, and she expresses herself in such a way that always makes you feel something.  When she sings, the hairs on your arms will stand straight up.  When she’s in a passionate debate and she’s on your side, you sit up straighter and simply yell: “yeah, what she said.” When she’s in a passionate debate and she is not on your side, she will literally make your blood boil.  LITERALLY.  

With much power, comes much responsibility.  If you can make people feel things, you have to be careful about how you make them feel.  So she and I made a choice… instead of posting the original piece she sent me, I would like to share the verbatim text conversation that followed her submitting original piece:

J: “What I want to know is: you have a captive audience who knows you are talking about death/grief.  What message do you want them to take away from your post?”

B: “I want them to know that even when you feel like your whole world is black there are people put in your life by God/the Universe to help you overcome it and grow.  And not to give up.

I honestly believe people who go through things like this that impact their whole life are destined for greater things, God’s got us in his pocket yo.” 

Bekah, a total Daddy’s girl

Our stories and experiences of grief looked very different.  However, after processing collectively we were able to agree on the same “take home” point… God Has Got You in His Pocket.

It is entirely possible that no one, not even your family (and well meaning oldest Sister) understands you.  It is entirely possible that you can go through Hell and back with someone, and they can still be on completely different pages than you.  

While you might be sitting from a unique vantage point, you are never alone.  Why?  Jesus is with you, and God is with him.  

"Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come, for you to be scattered, each to his own home, and to leave Me alone; and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.  These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16: 32-33

God has got you in his pocket, friend, just like he has Bekah.  The one thing my 17 year old wanted you to know is that if grief has shaken your whole world, you’re destined for greater things.  Jesus has overcome the world, and because of him, we can too… so take heart.  

God’s got you in his pocket.  

[I told you Bekah is good at making you feel something.]  

Bekah is a 17 year-old finishing up her last
year of high school (I still can’t believe it).  She aspires to either be a drama teacher or special education teacher, and has a voice that was simply  made for Jesus’ choir.