I live in a constant state of distraction. I am usually thinking up some sort of plan to get coffee, or about how I am not old enough to adopt babies from developing countries (and will never be able to adopt from Russia, at any age), OR about who Jesus would vote for as the 45th United States President. Or about how if Jesus came back right now no one would have to vote for the 45th President of the United States (hint, Jesus, hint). And if we are going to be real, I’m likely thinking about all of those topics at once at any given moment, plus some.
All the things. All at once.
My mind runs a mile a minute, truly. The other day my best friend looked through my phone for a bit (okay, like for 30 minutes) and said, “how do you even THINK, let alone type, this fast?!”
Distracted people get lodged on lots of tangents, Bub, that’s how. Duh.
Anyhow, it’s never a bad time to stop and talk about why Chipotle is better than Qdoba. Never.
What I love about my best friends: they never say “but queso” when talking about Chipotle versus Qdoba. Chipotle, always, duh.
I polled these people, and they each agreed “but queso” is not a valid claim.
What I love even more about them: they never settle for my split attention. The best example of this happened the other day when I was watching “Galaxy Quest” for the first time with my friends Tyler and Amie. If I picked up my phone, Tyler paused it. If I went to the bathroom, Tyler paused it. If I sassed him, he paused it and sassed me back. I’m learning some things deserve your full attention, and apparently Alan Rickman movies make that short list.
What his frequent pauses for phone usage effectively made me consider:
It seems silly to waste time with people who are totally crazy about you (or, in Tyler’s case, crazy about “Galaxy Quest”) being distracted behind the screen of a phone. Those distractions just aren’t worth it.
His face looks like this because he misses Alan Rickman.
My favorite favorite author, Bob Goff, says, “people grow where they feel accepted.” TRUTH TRUTH TRUTH. At least, true for me. What is also true for me: I am starting to find that even when in that place of acceptance it’s easy for the rabbit holes that is my cellphone to transport me to a different place, one of comparison and opportunities to question, “will they like me if I say this?”
That place sucks. I’m not going to throw my cellphone across the room about it, but if given the two options in a rational, self-reflective state of mind, I would rather be in the other place… the one with people who know and accept me and support the way my brain thinks up dreams to make this crazy world better, while feeding me burritos. That place kicks the other place’s butt.
Whether it’s texting someone who is undecided about us, swiping on tinder, wasting time on facebook looking at that-girl-that-we-don’t-even-like’s baby, or reading an article about the Presidential candidate we hate the most… let’s do it while home alone and bored at 9pm, not during qt with beloved people. Or better yet, do it never. Let’s just make a binding contract not to do it.
What might happen if we all decided to stop mistaking social media and text messaging for acceptance and intimacy?
Probably everything amazing.
The real truth of it is love is about making (face) time for people you think are super. Love is practicing pauses when someone needs time to catch up. Love is a Chipotle barbacoa burrito with fajita peppers and guacamole, because it doesn’t even need queso. Love deserves our full attention and focus.
Let’s feel accepted and grow, friends. No distractions.
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