Waiting in Expectation

As with every new endeavor, I used my best friend (besties since we were 7... what a commitment), Katie, as a focus group of 1 for my first blog post.  Her reaction was, "I like it.  So you are basically saying you are going to fake it till you make it, right?"  Wrong, Bub, WRONG.  Your best friend is no faker (except, in honesty, sometimes I do wear “Tory Burch inspired” jewelry)!

                                          My favorite picture of us, at a "rally" in DC...

                                          the Stephen Colbert/ Jon Stewart rally (2010)

To serve as a daily reminder, one of my very favorite friends, Lesley, used to make her computer log-in passwords short inspirational phrases.  "Fake it till you make it" didn't make Lesley's password list, and it doesn't make mine either.  One of my favorites from her repertoire (which has since been retired, so don't try it, hackers!) was "waiting in expectation."  I just love that.  Waiting expectantly… 

                                     (I think this is probably when we fell in love, 2009)

Aren't we all, in some capacity, waiting expectantly?  Whether it is waiting for someone to acknowledge your hard work, waiting for a friend/family member/ significant other to suddenly change their personality and do X thing, waiting for the right job opportunity, or just waiting for God knows what (and he does know).  We are all waiting for and expecting some great big thing, whether it is due to us or not.  Whether it is coming or not.  Whether it is good for us or not.

What does this "waiting" look life for you?  Y para me (my favorite Spanish phrase), since I broke out of the nest in 2008, I have put the work in to prepare for the life I expected.  I have always had at least two jobs, have stayed in school (and may never get out at this rate), have been active in service work, played with every baby God gave me to play with, and only dated people worth dating (and by that, I mean person singular, but making it plural makes me sound more interesting and aloof).  I've been doing everything and it has been rather exhausting… aren’t you exhausted just listening to it?

Here's what I haven't done though... sat still, left room for changes, given myself enough time for fun, or enough time to even review my expectations.  Really I haven't waited at all, I've just kept expecting and moving. 

                                     Sitting (almost) still with one of my favorite toddlers 

                                                         on my lunch break 

So, in my moment of blog-inspired self-reflection clarity, lemme tell you what my self-assessment looks like... expectations for life: samezies (when you know what you want, you just know). Timeline: open for assessment.  Jessica: benched. 

While I’m benched, I’m still making a game-plan… shake my booty to as much Beyonce music as possible, wear shiny shoes every day, and wear sassy clothes I can’t wear in my 30s (and I don’t mean the Hollister jeans that I can’t move past, due to them fitting my body type perfectly).  The plan isn’t to find some magical thing to make me happy (aside from going to Disney World... I can't deny that is the cure to everything), or to trick myself and others into believing that I am, but to just do more of the things that already bring me joy (refer back to Disney World). 

                                                      No caption needed. Bliss.  

While I’m busy pursuing those endeavors, I’m also going to be watching God continue to answer my prayers better than I know how to ask them, and remember that he can mend the majority of my grief in this world with solutions as simple as a phone call.  Blog friends, won’t you wait (expectantly) and watch with me?