How to Save a Life

For every person that comes to know me very well, there typically comes a day when they find out every important autobiographical fact about me in one sitting.  This is because telling my story makes one thing lead to another until all of it is just kind of out there and everyone is just a little bit overwhelmed and can only say things like "wow" or (my favorite) "hurm."

Spark notes: Growing up, I had a hard life.

Post script: It got better.

After I put some epsom salts under my listeners' noses and they come to, they will inevitably ask me this question: "Why aren't you more messed up?"  (aren't you wondering that a little now, too?)  Why no chip on my shoulder?  Well let me educate you...

As a child, my home life wasn't exactly conducive to endorsing that I was special.  Most (though not all) of the adults in my family were tackling big world problems and not really paying attention to what I was doing (except for my Saint of a Grandma), however remarkable or unremarkable what I did was.

                                                              Me, just being 4 and sassy

I can't exactly pinpoint the moment, but I would guess that I started believing that I was not altogether insignificant and the world wasn't entirely unfair in the fifth grade. That is when I met Shannon, my Big Sister from Big Brothers/ Big Sisters.  Until I graduated from high school in 2008, Shannon consistently took me on adventures every Tuesday (what a commitment), including an awkward trip in middle school to the liquor barn to pick out paper party plates (yes, Shannon, I told on you). She was there when my Mom died, she never missed a graduation, and she listened to every complicated boy-related issue I could come up with.  I truly became a part of her awesome family, was honored to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and am now "Auntie Jessica" to her beautiful son.  We both moved from Louisville area, and now live a street over from one another in Lexington (small world, huh?).  

                                   Pictures from a Tuesday, the day before I went away for college,

                                                     and from Shannon's wedding 

I don't know if you have ever been mentored or served as a mentor, but regardless of if you have or have not, I'm sure that you understand that the longevity of our relationship is an exception not a rule.  Two of my sisters, Sarah and Ashley, had Bigs through BB/BS, too.  I'm sure their Bigs had great intentions when they signed up for the program, but they weren't able to deliver the unwavering consistency that kids with tough lives need.  They were no Shannons.

Shannon kept hanging out with me after I asked her to wear a shirt referencing Britney Spears to a church youth group type of thing, drove to my house countless times only to find out I was grounded for some stupid reason and couldn't hang out with her that night, and overlooked that I probably forgot to say thank you as often as I should have (“thanks for spending time with me!”).  

Like Shannon, my best friend, Katie, also made me a part of her family.  A big reason I felt special as a kid, and still feel special, is because of her awesome parents, Trish and Joe.  Trish took me to and from Cheer practices when I was a kid, tutored me in Pre-Calculus when I had a witch of a teacher, encourages my writing, and offers great advice.  Joe makes me feel like I am the most intelligent person alive (even though his daughter is much more intelligent than I am), laughs at my weird stories, and makes me feel like I can go places if I want to.  They picked a weird little 7 year old to include in their family, and that weird little 7 year old is still grateful. 

                                              Last Christmas when we visited the Pelletiers in

                                                                         sunny Florida 

As an adult, I have had two other influential mentors , Sara and Shelby.  (Are you thinking about how that word makes you sound old?)  They came to me at a time when my life was good, and I didn't really know I needed some extra help navigating through the world, but God knew.  He always knows.  I love Sara because she is supportive in every circumstance, never makes me feel like I owe her, and because she just has this indescribable way of getting through to me when I am upset and not ready to listen to others.  I love Shelby because she always has this urgency about everything, is the definition of a prayer warrior, and calls me instantly when she thinks something is going on with me (even when there is, in fact, nothing going on). On behalf of the best core group ever, thank you!

[This is where a picture of me and Shelby and Sara would be... if we took pictures.  

But we don't even have one somehow... three years guys... really?]

Shannon, Trish and Joe, Sara and Shelby all came to me in different stages of my life, but they all taught me about the value of consistency, loving like Jesus does, and what can happen if you invest in other people.  I’m special because they told me I am.  I invest in other people because these people invested so much in me (more on the awesome people I serve at a later date). 

Blog friends, consistently and intentionally tell someone they are special, because it can save their life.  It saved me.  By no particular talent or merit of my own, I was remarkably loved and am now able to be remarkably loving. That’s my secret. Isn’t it a good one?