Of my 7 little ones I mentor, the one I hold onto the tightest is Jastain, my sixth grader, because I am completely aware he will soon wake up and become “too cool” for me. I know because it happened with his older brother, Boaz, and I know because Jastain tells me so himself.
Last June as I was planning his sister’s high school graduation party, he asked me when the party for his fifth grade graduation would be. I told him I wasn’t sure 5th grade graduation merited a party. That smart boy told me, “but Jessica… it is a big deal. I’ll be too cool for you soon.”
I literally cried. So, after seeing the light made by his rational point, I picked him up and took him on a date to eat chicken ‘n waffles and enjoyed the final season before he outgrows me. Next year he’ll probably end our 3 year long trick-or-treating streak and will probably stop squealing when I show up at their house and probably won’t want to go to Disney on Ice or musicals with me.
I did not even cut up his chicken and waffles for him. He's grown.
For Jastain, walking across his fifth grade stage was a big deal. And it took me some convincing to realize it, but it was.
Jastain actually shows me that every new thing he does is a big deal.
When he was in the fourth grade I had plans to pick him up to hang out and he had one of his sisters call me and say that he had something going on at his school and he wanted me to go there for his thing instead. I had no idea what this thing was, but when you get invited to a kid’s thing at school you just go, okay.
You should know that as soon as I walked into the school there was a group of teachers at a check-in table who asked me what I was there for, and I told them I was meeting my fourth grade friend, Jastain, for what I did not know. With (rightfully) sassy looks they asked me Jastain’s last name and I drew a blank… each of the 7 kids has a different African last name (they have the same parents) and they are all difficult for me to pronounce and/or remember. (The kids give me grace for it, so stop judging me). Eventually they let me through and to my surprise, the event I showed up for was a school production of the musical “Annie.”
I sat through the whole production, which lasted a couple of hours, and somewhere in the middle of one of the dramatic songs, my little man Jastain silently walked onto the stage sideways with one hand extended to his side, and one behind his back. When he got to the middle of the stage he switched hands and walked offstage the same direction he walked on. Basically, he walked on to que the other tiny performers to walk offstage. He showed up to make sure other people knew it was time to do what they needed to do.
My little friend’s role wasn’t the most glamorous, but he was so proud of himself and excitedly asked me how I thought he did on the ride home.
The thing is, he did something great. He took his small role and he played it well, with pride. I’m not sure that people who don’t have kids (or, in my case, borrowed kids) would understand what it’s like to watch your little one do something they love or try something new, however big or small, however well or poorly executed, but it’s the best.
Whenever I feel like I’ve failed at something I care about or barely stumbled through something new, I consider how God must feel a lot like I felt spectating Jastain walk on and offstage at his play, just proud that he gets to watch me do something new. I know a lot of people give participation trophies some heat, but what I know about God’s character tells me that he is likely a big fan, and we should be, too. We should celebrate doing new things, whether they are big and grand or the small behind the scenes roles that help others get to where they need to be.
Since I met my friend, Katie Adams, a year and some change ago, we managed to master taking turns playing Jastain’s role in each other’s lives… walking onstage to remind our friend where they need to be, which direction they are headed in.
On Friday I got to watch Katie walk across a big important stage (a semester EARLY) and get her placeholder diploma from the University of Kentucky. Little Katie Adams, who hates attention, is so often the foundation that holds up people and projects when they need it most… I’m proud of her for graduating from college, but I’m more proud of her for the character she has developed by following Jesus daily, which will take her so much farther than the things she learned in classroom ever will.
We happy cry more than anyone we know.
As my friend prepares to do a new thing and apply for big girl jobs, I’ll be one of the people cheering the loudest, no matter where she ends up because I am more proud of who she is and whom she has chosen to follow than I am of what she does.
Where is Katie going? Well, Jesus knows that. Just standing in the middle of the stage to remind her. <3
Doesn't she look like a genuine angel?!
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