The Thing About Me and November

So the thing about November is that I hate it.  It is a black hole of a month that is wedged between two excellent months.  Most Novembers my normally happy heart takes a leave of absence and allows itself to be depressed.  This year November level feelings came months early, so this girl is super ready for Christmas magic.

The thing about me is my Mom died in November.  Specifically, she died on November 20, 2000, three days before Thanksgiving and three days before she should have turned 30. 

And now you know what she looked like. 

When a Mother of five dies before she turns 30, and when that Mother is your Mother, you learn really quickly that this life is no joke.  It changes pretty much everything and turns you into a weird kid who knows too much.  

Weird kid is growing up.  Next month I turn 25.  Yikes.  You do the math… when you know people can die before 30, or even sooner, 25 seems old.  (Maybe now you understand my habitual sense of urgency about absolutely everything). 

This must have been from right before she got sick. 

This whole thing could have made me all kinds of crazy, which is why I still take a month every year to process it and every other ugly thing that happened because of it.  Honestly, it has made me oddly sane and focused.

For your reading pleasure, here are the disjointed pearls of November-inspired wisdom that guide this old lady's life and help keep me grounded:

Life is too short to pretend like great things are just good things.  This world can be a bad enough place without you cheating yourself.  I both listed this first and bolded it, because I think this is extra important.    

If you are lucky enough to have a clear picture of what you want most, life is too short to not chase it.  And not just kind of chase it… chase it like a crazy person.  Regardless of the outcome, you won’t regret it. The alternative though?  You’ll regret that.  Trust me.  

No matter what myriad of hardships you have been thrown or what kind of career or income you have, if you have people in your life who love you (like Jesus does) your life will feel full and well-lived.  Sometimes you have to make choices.  Pick love.  My Mom did. 

Ashley and Mom

Sarah and Mom 

Rachel and Mom...
I would guess Mom is about my age in this photo

Bekah and Mom

Life is too short to make foolish, self-harming choices on purpose. This is probably especially true if life has not been kind to you, because you know better. #YOLOisano-no

DO NOT SMOKE.  It very literally and seriously can kill you. 

The saying “God does not give you more than you can handle” is not really biblical or true.  (Honestly, the phrase makes me cringe).  He gives us more than we can handle all the time.  (That’s why he gave us Jesus). Being able to admit your overwhelmed heart can’t handle it all is so unexpectedly beautiful.  Admitting this saved me from my quest to be perfect and completely self-sufficient, which contributed to being miserable and lonely for much of my childhood.  Surrender. Let it go.

You can’t be depressed forever.  God is too good for that nonsense. 

Even in your November, there is always always always something to be thankful for.  Even if it is what you don’t have anymore. 

I will leave  you with what I remember being my Mom's favorite song... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ8D5Ihe4hg

Adventure is out there

I have learned that you can only handle working so many 70 hour weeks in a row before you find yourself flying across the country and running around yelling "paid time off! paid time off!" in a city you've never been to (if you think I didn't really do this, jokes on you). 

In the last month and some change, I have traveled to: Indianapolis, Chicago, Nashville, Atlanta, Cleveland, Bowling Green, St. Louis, and Portland (Oregon, not Maine), not to mention Cincinnati/ Northern Kentucky and Louisville too many times to count.

Portland was the best because it wasn't for work, I didn't have to drive there and I also did not have to chaperone a charter bus full of college students.  It was also the best because there is a Tom there, and an Emilie there, and they are stand-up people.

Exhibit A: Macarons were waiting for me at the airport.  MACARONS THE SIZE OF MY FACE (or, more accurately, my hand). 

 

Supply me with macarons, get mentioned in my blog.

To reiterate: supply me with macarons, get mentioned in my blog.

 



Other things to note about Portland: No sales tax.  Illegal to pump your own gas.  Flights of anything you can imagine... wine, beer, icecream.  A gal's dreams come true.  Have you bought your ticket yet?

 

 

Tom, too, likes flights.

 

 As little as I complain about my work schedule (hahahaha), I really don't like working so much.  I like sleeping and eating grilled cheese and wearing hot pink (really more like magenta) dresses and meandering through gigantic book stores and eating Thai street food with friends and watching Chopped and reading "Love Does" by Bob Goff and lunching on rooftops.  I did all of those things on vaca, and they were pretty stinking great.  Note that food gets a lot of honorable mentions.

 

I bought this copy of "Abolition of Man" at Powell's

for twice what the book originally sold for,

because I liked the cute inscription.

 

There's nothing like a good vacation, being sick after said vacation, and feeling the glee of chanting "Paid time off!" to remind you that we were not made to work 70 hours a week.  You weren't, I wasn't, let's not. :)

 

ONLY 42 DAYS UNTIL THE NEXT VACATION: DISNEY.