What I don’t know for sure but have recently begun to speculate is that one of the trickiest, sneakiest things the ENEMY does is use our minor, God-given talents to distract us from being where we see and share God best. He tempts us to settle for good, not great. I am personally becoming aware that the enemy keeps giving me countless opportunities, each of which sound wonderful at face-value, but under the surface lead me away from seeing, hearing, and knowing God. In other words, ‘opportunities’ that lead me nowhere.
Sneaky, sneaky, SNEAKY.
I’m trying to be sneakier than him. In my little lifetime I have spent a lot of minutes and hours trying to figure out how God works. In the last year I have dedicated some of those hours and minutes to contemplating who God is by discerning who God isn’t.
In fact, “that’s not God” has become a classic Jessica quote, and one I have been wearing outtttt lately. In context, it’s pretty much always a friend describing some feelings of guilt or shame or anxiety, usually regarding doing something they ‘should do’ even though they are admittedly half-hearted about it.
Lately I’m finding half-hearted is no way to live. Although it is easier said than done, ‘shoulds’ should not run our lives.
Recently I’ve been struggling in this arena, too. In this arena, and in all of the arenas. In truth, 26 is proving to be a mild struggle, y’all.
One example: last year I made a sizeable commitment and soon thereafter realized that while said commitment was something I was well suited for, it was distracting me from so many of the things I’m best at. It was also separating me from experiences proven to strengthen my relationship with God, without fail.
Every time I contemplated resigning a voice (which I have since discerned was not of God) would say:
But you just started.
But you worked really hard to get here.
But you are good at it.
But it sounds like something you should like.
But it’s ministry, you are serving God.
But they need you.
In the past couple of months I have gotten better and braver about tuning out that voice, the ones with all the ‘buts,’ by considering the better ‘but’: “but Jesus” (another signature Jess line).
Walking with God is walking in full-hearted love. I mean, He IS love, after all. He showed us that in a million ways before Jesus, but most significantly with Jesus.
But Jesus.
He came to set us free from both the feeling and reality of captivity and ‘shoulds.’ He also came to show us that when we are connected to God, we bear fruit that we couldn’t possibly bear apart from him (John 15). We can know if we are walking in God’s love by measuring (1) how much or how little we feel connected to him in our steps, and (2) how much fruit we are bearing.
When we are with him, we get to feel blessed and, in turn, bless others beyond measure. I have missed that feeling! SO MUCH.
I just took my first brave step to cut back on my ‘shoulds,’ trading them for more ‘get to’ moments with Jesus, Will you be brave and take that step, too?
Because freedom and bravery are both something worth celebrating.
